paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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