It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
someone owes me an orgasm
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
