I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
