allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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