you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Randomize
