It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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