There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
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im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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