I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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