Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
