so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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