I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I would fuck him just for his dog
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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