Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize