We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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