I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
