During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
