Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
