he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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