So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
