no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
