is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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