How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
