Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
