seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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