How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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