Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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