Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
