ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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