These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
