Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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