Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize