Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize