there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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