if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
