How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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