i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
