did you get engaged???
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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