Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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