shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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