Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
