i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize