Hey man sorry I got all grabby
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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