so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
