2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize