it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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