You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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