girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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