Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i think my mom watched the whole time
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
