Already got asked if we're dating
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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