wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
40s are totally the cure
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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