I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
