Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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