I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
