She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
