If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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