Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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