This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
whose ass print is on the piano?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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