She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
COCAINE IS GR8
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
